Worst Essays Funny

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She earned an MBA from the Rutgers School of Business in 2010.

She earned an MBA from the Rutgers School of Business in 2010.

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Critical Thinking And Test Item Writing - Worst Essays Funny

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. A few have said that these analogies were actually taken from other sources and were not written by high school kids at all. These analogies are the winning entries in a 1999 Washington Post humor contest, and there are more than 25. Please look at the comments sent August 3, 2008 by “Jiffer” to get to the complete list and the names of the authors. The e-mail says they are taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. For me, the road to self-actualization began the first time I ever set something on fire. I have many interests, including but not limited to sharks, bread, and the Archduke Franz Ferdinand. A problem I would like to solve is global poverty, and also the rampant misconception that Thin Mints are the best Girl Scout Cookie when clearly it is Tagalongs.UPDATE: Tens of thousands of readers have found this post and hundreds of you have commented. Writing a good college admissions essay is a mixture of luck and just straight-up sorcery. Nobody is banging out an essay in twenty minutes and doing a celebratory backflip out their bedroom window just to bring it all home. All I do know is that you should never, under any circumstances, start your essay off with one of these… If I had to describe myself in three words, they would be “anxious,” “itchy,” and “hungry.” 2. I know I’m late, but time is a social construct and your arbitrary “application deadline” means nothing in the vast chaos of an unfeeling universe. I don’t know how to ace those college essays; I do not know the incantations. Writing an "un-essay." Many students, particularly some of the brightest ones, have a negative reaction to the strictures of the admission essay.In response, Robinson says, "They want to write in stream-of-consciousness or be sarcastic, and I totally understand this reaction. Do not write about drug use, drinking and driving, arrests or jail time. The problem with these topics is not that they are depressing, but that such powerful topics can be challenging to write about.I asked Janine Robinson, who is the creator of a wonderful website called Essay Hell and the author of an excellent ebook entitled "Escape Essay Hell," to identify those essay topics that teenagers should absolutely avoid. You definitely don't want to write about your winning team. If you are one of the lucky teenagers who has grown up in an affluent household, with all the perks that goes with it, no need to share that with college admission officials.And nobody wants to read about your losing team, either. "The last thing anyone wants to read about is your ski trip to Aspen or your hot oil massage at a fancy resort," Robinson observed.4.

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